her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
