A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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