I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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