You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
