You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
