i just wanna soil my oats bro
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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