We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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