she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
