i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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