with your own penis?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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