Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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