Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
