Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
