is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
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