the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
