u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
