Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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