Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize