You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
