Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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