Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
