My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
