i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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