Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
