Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize