Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
