So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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