This girl is more easily done than said...
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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