That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
and she was petting her beer can
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
foreskin is a definite game changer
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize