if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
