Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
