They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Randomize