When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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