Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
the liver wants what the liver wants
My breasts were aching with rage.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
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