I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
