You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I am naked and annoyed.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm bleeding and have questions
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
