watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
