All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
