What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
