yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
