I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Are we still banned from the library?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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