It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
