that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
