i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She told me I should be a condom model.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
