is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Randomize
