Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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