I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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