Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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