I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
