i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
