i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
