At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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