Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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