im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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