Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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