Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize