break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
