It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize