and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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