The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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