i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
