whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
