I can tuck mytits in my pants
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize