Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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