Your tits are I can't wait for
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
