He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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