i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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