Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize