Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
